I finally finished reading Fifty Shades Of Grey last night. I have already bitched about how horribly written it was, how the characters are hollow and awkward and I could write a better erotic novel in my sleep. But, I have new opinions to add to my earlier ones; I now hate the fallowing words and phrases that James uses in Ana's inner monologue "blink(ing)", "sex" (used at an synonym for genitals), "he scolds/scolding", "Holy crap", "Oh no!", "Holy Moses", "he fills me... I'm going over the edge", and finally "delicious(ly)". This last one made me want to vomit by the last chapter, maybe I have been doing it right for all these years but I just don't find sex or anything else erotic to be "delicious"!! In fact, I looked up synonyms to "delicious" and I found about four words that she could have used every once in a while instead of using "delicious" ten times on every page!
Delightful. Luscious. Divine. Enticing. She could have used Yummy for goodness sake and not sounded like a first grader who is learning how to form real sentences for the second time! If I went through this book, chapter by chapter, and crossed out these words and phrases not only would the book be shorter but it would be much more bearable to read. Although, you would still be stuck reading the horrifically awkward conversations that the characters are having. Everyone is so stiff and old fashioned, aside from Grey when he is stabbing you with the F word in between using this girls name every second sentence. I can go on and on about how horrible the book is written so lets move forward to the plot of the book in general.
E L James... Why do you need this complicated contract nonsense to make a story interesting? In which you negate any damn way?!? Also, why the hell did this "love story" happen with in the course of two weeks? Week one she meets him, loses her virginity, goes on a date, gets abused and moves. Week two she goes on vacations, admits her love for him to herself and her family, gets a new job and breaks up with him after she tells him to beat her the way he really wants to. They both care about each other but she's a crazy, jealous, immature prude who asks way too many questions. She asks him the same questions through out the book, in which he answers every time, this is such a crazy girl thing that it pains me to share a gender with James and Ana. If girls are asking these questions it's no wonder so many of them are having to read this book for sexual content.
Erotic novels are about the action, so spending about six chapters talking about this magically sexy character is pointless and annoying! We get it! He's hot, rich, über kinky and fixated on this plain Jane. Move this shit along already! Furthermore, the sex in this book is not kinky, the idea of the "Red Room of Pain" is kinky, but the kinkiest the sex gets is vaginal beads and a riding crop. I don't consider her being tied up to be that kinky since that is a fairly normal sexual fantasy. So much is mentioned in the contract but never tried that it is pointless to even have used the Room to begin with. They have mostly "vanilla" sex through out different rooms of his and her apartments, and a hotel.
Now then, I am an amateur but, I'm fairly confident that I could make a pretty steamy first chapter with very little filler, I am going to prove that it isn't hard to write an erotic novel that is intelligent, well written, and kinky.
Here I am again, my feet and hands bound by the searing chill of the aluminum cuffs, eyes draped with the silk mask, body bare and tender to the satin sheets on the bed below me. I can only hear his whispering breathes sweeping over my breast as he hovers, knees and hands indent into the mattress on either side of me. He's been teasing me for hours, days, weeks it feels. I am aching for him to touch me, wanting so badly to feel him press his lips to mine, I would do anything to feel him inside of me, and he know this. He is enjoying himself too much to stop my agony so soon.
"Farah" his breath is so warm on my belly.
"Luca, please" is all I can muster up, I know he is smiling his devilish grin and things are about to get much worse for me.
His rugged forefinger softly glides over my collar bones, down my sternum to my belly, sweeps across my hips and is joined by his index finger above my pleasure button. I can't catch my breath, his fingers start to slowly circulate, finding my clitoris and enticing it with soft strokes. My hips try to mimic his fingers motions but he changes from clockwise to counter clockwise when they catch the rhythm. His torturous games have always been cruel, but he must be in an especially seductive mood this evening.
"Farah, do you love me?", his voice is dripping with poisonous sexual tension.
"Yes," I breath "I need you."
The pressure of his fingers are heavier now, my stomach fills with intense excitement. After only a brief moment he stops, the anticipation of what he will do next is burning in my loins. Then, all at once, his mouth replaces where his fingers were. Hot, wet, expertly tonguing me. The feeling of his mouth opening and closing, his lips smooth and his scruffy facial hair against my sensitive lady parts throws me into ecstasy. I can only gasp for air as his hands hold my hips in place so that I can not escape or move, as if the cuffs would allow me to. He is loving this, he lets out a blissful sigh and I shiver underneath its weight.
"Luca!" I can't take any more, I'm going to hit my climax at any second.
His is all of the sudden on top of me, in side of me. Between my spread thighs I can feel the heat he has created and now he is spreading the heat through my whole body. His chest is now parallel to mine, my hard nipples are brushing against his muscular pecs. He's so close to me but I can't touch him, I want to run my finger nails down his back, hold his solid buttock so that he can fill me deeper. Even as I have him, I crave more, I am so greedy for his body.
His hard erection slides in and out of me with moderate friction, deep for a moment, the pause brings my body to a sensation I can only describe as sizzling, spicy, and tingly. After he pushes me so close to the edge he removes the pressure only slightly then deepens before he exits almost completely. I moan loudly, calling his name, his gruff voice breaths into my neck. Moist, humid moans fill my ears and I am lost in the moment right before I erupt into pure pleasure. The cuffs dig into my wrists as I struggle to withdraw myself, he continues to move inside of me, he wouldn't stop even if I begged him. This is it, the moment that has been building this whole time. Welling up and crashing down inside of me, every nerve in my body pulses. My body response to his so quickly that only a few seconds later I am shaking and sweating under him. He continues on, pushing, pulling, releasing. I can only lay here as I feel myself swelling around him, so sensitive and magical. His every motion throws me into an even further daze. I can finally feel him building, his body is tensing, voice becoming more grizzly, movements more jagged, thrusting himself inside of me only a few more times he comes and collapses gracefully on top of me. His sweat is sweet and cool against me, his muscles rippling from his intense moment of gratification.
He rolls away from me after a few moments, releasing me from my restraints. He draws me into his arms as I pull off the mask. Both of us panting from orgasm, all I can hear is the blood pounding in my ears and his husky breathing. The room is dark but I can make out his sculpted body as my eyes adjust to the moon light coming through the window. Lying there, drenched in sweat and basking in the after glow of love making he kisses me, his lips are cool and damp.
"Wow... That was... wow" I blush and flash an accomplished almost cocky smile up at him.
"Mmhmm" is all I can reply with, I am so spent. I close my eyes as he grabs a blanket from the end of the bed, in no time I am sleeping.
To be continued... ?
No comments:
Post a Comment