Alright, I think it's time that I did a full blown out, uncensored, raw post. This will be explicit, semi pornographic, and not to be judged.
Men, when did you all become little bitches? I feel like dudes have either become little pussies or just too damn lazy. I want a guy to just come up to me at a bar, without hesitation and full of confidence to offer me a drink (roofie free) and have a good hookup line!! Maybe it is just me, I'm told I'm fairly attractive but guys rarely approach me anywhere. I can only assume that I am either unapproachable, or that men have lost their back bone in a terrible vagina growing incident!
As I thought about this rant I thought that I would give a few pointers to those guys who want to be more outgoing and possibly encourage a few lazy asses.
To start one thing you must always remember in any situation, whether you have it or not is to BE CONFIDENT! Even if she is surrounded by a large group of girls, you will seem to have about 78% more game if you can muster up the courage to walk into the lioness den for the soul purpose of getting that one particular girl. Either way, any girl is going to be flattered that you are going to approach her in a crowded place. How can you screw that up? Oh yeah, by being a douche... Don't be that guy either.
When I talk about confidence I want you to know there is a difference between confidence and being a cocky bastard. We don't care about your car or your stupid gun collection. Oh, and we really don't care about your ex girlfriend, so please do not, in anyway, include her in your game plan! We don't care about you view on the Chick-fa-la ordeal or even what your political views are. Believe it or not, when it comes to meeting someone for the first time all we want to hear is that you think that we are pretty and you want to sit and lightly chat with us for a little while.
Still nervous? Well, aren't you lucky you stumbled upon me! Here's how you get a girl to become interested in you. No tricks or gimmicks just easy to fallow instructions that will get you that phone number and possibly an over the jeans... moving on.
When you first notice an attractive girl across the bar or restaurant or where ever you have to remember to smile. We love a good smile. There is also an amount of time to glance and then take action. Three gaze holding moments and exchange of smiles is the magic signal. Single girls on the hunt will do the once over throughout the room to see if there are any attractive potentials worth their time. Which means you'll know with in two glances if she is interested in you or not. Holding the third gaze means you have the go ahead to swagger on over and start up a convo, which should always start with but not limited to the sentence "Hey, mind if I buy you a drink?"
After you have sat, bought her a beverage and learned her name you can start a sensible conversation that should be kept light, easy and open ended. A list of easily light topics include:
Where is she from?
What does she do for work?
How loud the music is in the area you are currently talking in.
How you couldn't keep your eyes off her and you noticed her noticing you.
If she likes/knows any sports (this is for your benefit later)
Music.
Movies.
And of course the all important question, is she single and how the hell she is, if she is indeed single.
Chicks usually ask a million questions so you shouldn't be too concerned about having to think of everything to say. This is when you have to have a brain and try to notice if she is interested in your interpersonal communication skills. Is she smiling? If yes, then continue. If no, and she seems stuck up and a little dumb, this is the bailout moment and you should take it. Thank her for having a drink with you and kindly get the fuck out of there.
Warning: Girls are crazy bitches sometimes. Any sign of crazy you should hightail it out of there ASAP!
One final note. Honesty is the best way to live life. If you end up not liking a chick, tell her. You don't have to be mean about it or go into vast detail. Just plain and simple, tell her that you're just not that into her and don't lead her on for weeks just because you're not sure or you have nothing better going on right at the moment. There are millions of people on the planet so why waste her or your time?
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #12
For Anthony Carey, stay safe and keep your head up, this too shall pass.
Rejection. Unrequited love. Desperation. Heart break. Loneliness. The sheer and utter sickness of being without the person you are fool-heartedly heels over head for. These are feelings that we have all possessed for someone at some point who ripped our hearts from our chests', shredded them with their bare hands then shoved it down our throats into a deep, dark pit in our stomachs. They are always the people we care about the most, no matter how hurt we are at the end of their brutal display of their disaffection.
When it comes to emotions I wasn't dealt a full hand, a few guys I know can tell you that, but if it's one feeling I can always identify it would be pain. I have had my fair share and then some of emotional pain, obviously there are people out in the world with much larger problems and more heartbreaking situations than I have had, but since I don't know them I will continue.
Being rejected by someone you feel deeply for is not only hard to take but hard to get over as well. We try to analyze it, make excuses for it, and then of course we get angry and try to walk away from it. Unfortunately 9 times out of 10 we are unsuccessful, walking away is the hardest part of losing someone. I don't have the magic answer to get over someone quickly but I do know a few ways to get yourself through it.
First, you need to realize that they rejected you for a reason, it's not sweet or comforting to think about and you may not really know the reason. The fact is, they don't want you. Bottom line. There is something about you that they do not want romantically. DO NOT become pitiful! DO NOT chase after them! DO NOT ask them to explain or "why" a hundred times. If they don't know then its just not what they want so you need to get over it. I know that's harsh and a touch of tough love but wouldn't you rather walk away with your head held high than crawling away on your knees, broken and bleeding?
Second, occupy your time. Sitting around waiting for them to come around, if they ever do, is going to drive you crazy and quite frankly is going to make you look even more pathetic. Find a new hobby, go out with friends, take some classes at a local community college, get a second job somewhere fun (and where you can get a discount on your favorite items) or even fitness. Fitness not only makes you look better but if makes you feel better, while you are running on the treadmill you are producing "feel good" chemicals that are pumping all through your body. Not only will occupying your time help you feel better but sometimes, spiteful immature people see you are happy without them and may start to think about why they left you in the first place. That is a huge "if" by the way, not "get them back" advice.
Lets stop for a second and talk about why people reject others. Commitment, intimacy and rejection fears of their own, they may be rejecting you without really knowing why. Or they like torturing people and just want to hurt someone to feel like they are in control. Although, sometimes its as simple as you are the one with the problems or they simply just don't have the same feelings you do. You can't blame them or hate them for their feelings, it's not like you haven't had these feelings about someone else at one point so you should understand.
Now for your final piece of advice to get your mind off of you're new found independence. Invest in yourself and have confidence. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is the best way to invest, its not always about money. Going to a spa, getting a massage, buying a new outfit, joining a gym or fitness club will not only make you feel better but it'll give you confidence. I preach confidence fairly regularly because you should be confident. You are an amazing person and there will be someone out there to love and care for you. Having confidence and knowing your worth is so important when it comes to finding your true happiness. My favorite quote is "You have to love yourself, before someone else can love you", and it's so true. I've said this to a few people and its kind of harsh but if you are a pathetic, depressed mess why would anyone want to be pathetically depressed with you?
So, to wrap it all up with a pretty pink bow rejection is a natural part of dating and life. If life was perfect for everyone we wouldn't be humans. You can always learn something about life with every painful experience. Some times it makes you bitter, I've been there, but sometimes it can also teach you how to survive emotionally. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
This subject came to me from someone who didn't really ask for my advice, but I find that my best advice is unsolicited.
Rejection. Unrequited love. Desperation. Heart break. Loneliness. The sheer and utter sickness of being without the person you are fool-heartedly heels over head for. These are feelings that we have all possessed for someone at some point who ripped our hearts from our chests', shredded them with their bare hands then shoved it down our throats into a deep, dark pit in our stomachs. They are always the people we care about the most, no matter how hurt we are at the end of their brutal display of their disaffection.
When it comes to emotions I wasn't dealt a full hand, a few guys I know can tell you that, but if it's one feeling I can always identify it would be pain. I have had my fair share and then some of emotional pain, obviously there are people out in the world with much larger problems and more heartbreaking situations than I have had, but since I don't know them I will continue.
Being rejected by someone you feel deeply for is not only hard to take but hard to get over as well. We try to analyze it, make excuses for it, and then of course we get angry and try to walk away from it. Unfortunately 9 times out of 10 we are unsuccessful, walking away is the hardest part of losing someone. I don't have the magic answer to get over someone quickly but I do know a few ways to get yourself through it.
First, you need to realize that they rejected you for a reason, it's not sweet or comforting to think about and you may not really know the reason. The fact is, they don't want you. Bottom line. There is something about you that they do not want romantically. DO NOT become pitiful! DO NOT chase after them! DO NOT ask them to explain or "why" a hundred times. If they don't know then its just not what they want so you need to get over it. I know that's harsh and a touch of tough love but wouldn't you rather walk away with your head held high than crawling away on your knees, broken and bleeding?
Second, occupy your time. Sitting around waiting for them to come around, if they ever do, is going to drive you crazy and quite frankly is going to make you look even more pathetic. Find a new hobby, go out with friends, take some classes at a local community college, get a second job somewhere fun (and where you can get a discount on your favorite items) or even fitness. Fitness not only makes you look better but if makes you feel better, while you are running on the treadmill you are producing "feel good" chemicals that are pumping all through your body. Not only will occupying your time help you feel better but sometimes, spiteful immature people see you are happy without them and may start to think about why they left you in the first place. That is a huge "if" by the way, not "get them back" advice.
Lets stop for a second and talk about why people reject others. Commitment, intimacy and rejection fears of their own, they may be rejecting you without really knowing why. Or they like torturing people and just want to hurt someone to feel like they are in control. Although, sometimes its as simple as you are the one with the problems or they simply just don't have the same feelings you do. You can't blame them or hate them for their feelings, it's not like you haven't had these feelings about someone else at one point so you should understand.
Now for your final piece of advice to get your mind off of you're new found independence. Invest in yourself and have confidence. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is the best way to invest, its not always about money. Going to a spa, getting a massage, buying a new outfit, joining a gym or fitness club will not only make you feel better but it'll give you confidence. I preach confidence fairly regularly because you should be confident. You are an amazing person and there will be someone out there to love and care for you. Having confidence and knowing your worth is so important when it comes to finding your true happiness. My favorite quote is "You have to love yourself, before someone else can love you", and it's so true. I've said this to a few people and its kind of harsh but if you are a pathetic, depressed mess why would anyone want to be pathetically depressed with you?
So, to wrap it all up with a pretty pink bow rejection is a natural part of dating and life. If life was perfect for everyone we wouldn't be humans. You can always learn something about life with every painful experience. Some times it makes you bitter, I've been there, but sometimes it can also teach you how to survive emotionally. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
This subject came to me from someone who didn't really ask for my advice, but I find that my best advice is unsolicited.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Bedside Blogger #11
Ok, rant time.
Today, I am annoyed with marriage. Not that I think marriage is bad or that people shouldn't get married but I'm annoyed that people are getting married so young and not treating it like a real commitment! Get married at 22, that's fine, but don't be surprised when you are bored after a year and end up getting divorced over stupid shit.
Story time. About two years ago I was invited to a wedding for a girl that I had worked with for a little while. I had no idea she had even been dating this guy for about a year and now she was getting married. I figured I would go and be supportive as she would be the first person I knew in my age group to get married. Well, I actually missed the wedding because I got the date wrong but no worry the marriage only lasted about a month... literally! Her Facebook relationship status changed so quickly I assumed it never changed. I never figured out why it didn't work out for sure but I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that she is pretty much a big kid and is in no way ready for that type of commitment or responsibility.
It's not that I think that everyone that gets married too young will fail miserably and end up fucking up their lives... although I would be about 60% correct, not a high enough percentage you say? Really? Lets think about this a little more. If 60% of airplanes crashed would you get on one? Or what if 40% of condoms didn't break... yeah, scary right! I know!
But, to prove I am not against marriage I will say that I know a few people my age or younger even who are married and very happy. My best friend in California for instance, has been married for about two years. Her husband is a U.S. Marine and they have two beautiful children together. I am jealous of her completely! She has some how made a life for herself, her kids and her husband so wonderful and full of love. She admits that at times it is hard and she has even said she wishes she would've waited, but then she looks at her babies and knows that they are worth more than anything she could get in the single world.
Another great example of young marriage gone right is my Uncle and his wife. They just welcomed their first child into the world and yes, they had their rocky points but they are so happy to have made it though the bad.
Not all good young marriages have to include kids either. I went to college with two girls that got married while in school and they are both insanely happy with their spouses and without kids for now. How do they do it? Well, I would say a big part of it was that they weren't in any rush. They knew they wanted to be with their significant others for the rest of their lives but also knew they wanted that title of husband and wife (aka that ring). They also had been dating their husbands for longer than 3 years. And were also engaged for quite a while before the actual knot was tied.
I myself have been proposed to a couple times and almost went through with it once, long story. But in the long run I knew it wasn't going to work out because I wasn't ready for that type of commitment and responsibility. A lot of girls see a wedding as a big party to show how grown up they are and don't see that its about celebrating the love you share with someone that you never want to sleep without, someone you never want to see walk out the door without saying you love them or kissing them good-bye.
Marriage is also about helping each other through the hard times. Deaths, births, moves, jobs, careers (there is a difference), sickness, and life altering experiences. I just don't think that younger people see that a marriage isn't about a big party or living with someone or even being with someone forever. A marriage is about trust, friendship, commitment, dedication and a deep connection with someone that you don't want to have with anyone else. Maybe that's just my mushy girly side coming out but these little bitches running around getting engaged at the age of 18 and 19 thinking they know what they are doing... just makes me so mad and honestly why would even make that an option in your life so young? I can personally say that its a bad idea and it should never be an option! There is always time to get married later in life.
Oh and being comfortable with someone isn't a good enough reason either! This statement should never come out of your mouth "Well, we have been together so long, we may as well get married". What. The. Fuck... No! Stop that right now!!
People get divorced after 20 years of marriage, being in a relationship for three years and getting married because you are just scared to start over with someone else should not be a reason to get married!! Yeah, sounds crazy, but I hear this reason way too often.
To conclude this rant the bottom line is stop being stupid! Marriage should still be sacred and treated like a real institution not some temporary living situation.
YOLO isn't a good enough reason either... stupid.
Today, I am annoyed with marriage. Not that I think marriage is bad or that people shouldn't get married but I'm annoyed that people are getting married so young and not treating it like a real commitment! Get married at 22, that's fine, but don't be surprised when you are bored after a year and end up getting divorced over stupid shit.
Story time. About two years ago I was invited to a wedding for a girl that I had worked with for a little while. I had no idea she had even been dating this guy for about a year and now she was getting married. I figured I would go and be supportive as she would be the first person I knew in my age group to get married. Well, I actually missed the wedding because I got the date wrong but no worry the marriage only lasted about a month... literally! Her Facebook relationship status changed so quickly I assumed it never changed. I never figured out why it didn't work out for sure but I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that she is pretty much a big kid and is in no way ready for that type of commitment or responsibility.
It's not that I think that everyone that gets married too young will fail miserably and end up fucking up their lives... although I would be about 60% correct, not a high enough percentage you say? Really? Lets think about this a little more. If 60% of airplanes crashed would you get on one? Or what if 40% of condoms didn't break... yeah, scary right! I know!
But, to prove I am not against marriage I will say that I know a few people my age or younger even who are married and very happy. My best friend in California for instance, has been married for about two years. Her husband is a U.S. Marine and they have two beautiful children together. I am jealous of her completely! She has some how made a life for herself, her kids and her husband so wonderful and full of love. She admits that at times it is hard and she has even said she wishes she would've waited, but then she looks at her babies and knows that they are worth more than anything she could get in the single world.
Another great example of young marriage gone right is my Uncle and his wife. They just welcomed their first child into the world and yes, they had their rocky points but they are so happy to have made it though the bad.
Not all good young marriages have to include kids either. I went to college with two girls that got married while in school and they are both insanely happy with their spouses and without kids for now. How do they do it? Well, I would say a big part of it was that they weren't in any rush. They knew they wanted to be with their significant others for the rest of their lives but also knew they wanted that title of husband and wife (aka that ring). They also had been dating their husbands for longer than 3 years. And were also engaged for quite a while before the actual knot was tied.
I myself have been proposed to a couple times and almost went through with it once, long story. But in the long run I knew it wasn't going to work out because I wasn't ready for that type of commitment and responsibility. A lot of girls see a wedding as a big party to show how grown up they are and don't see that its about celebrating the love you share with someone that you never want to sleep without, someone you never want to see walk out the door without saying you love them or kissing them good-bye.
Marriage is also about helping each other through the hard times. Deaths, births, moves, jobs, careers (there is a difference), sickness, and life altering experiences. I just don't think that younger people see that a marriage isn't about a big party or living with someone or even being with someone forever. A marriage is about trust, friendship, commitment, dedication and a deep connection with someone that you don't want to have with anyone else. Maybe that's just my mushy girly side coming out but these little bitches running around getting engaged at the age of 18 and 19 thinking they know what they are doing... just makes me so mad and honestly why would even make that an option in your life so young? I can personally say that its a bad idea and it should never be an option! There is always time to get married later in life.
Oh and being comfortable with someone isn't a good enough reason either! This statement should never come out of your mouth "Well, we have been together so long, we may as well get married". What. The. Fuck... No! Stop that right now!!
People get divorced after 20 years of marriage, being in a relationship for three years and getting married because you are just scared to start over with someone else should not be a reason to get married!! Yeah, sounds crazy, but I hear this reason way too often.
To conclude this rant the bottom line is stop being stupid! Marriage should still be sacred and treated like a real institution not some temporary living situation.
YOLO isn't a good enough reason either... stupid.
The Bedside Blogger #10
I have been a little recluse lately but I'm back with a few things that have been on my mind. The first being about myself and my love life, I'm a single 22 year old who works 50 hrs a week... I have nothing else to really think about. Let me also explain that realistically speaking I don't have much of a love life. I don't know if it is me or them but, lately men just haven't seen me as "girlfriend material", which is fine for now. More on that later, now, moving on to the first thing on my mind. Girlfriend obligations.
When it comes to dating I'm not really in the game lately, but when it comes to being a girlfriend I'm a all-star! I'll do pretty much anything for a guy, and I'm horrible when it comes to gift giving! I once bought a boyfriend an Xbox 360 just for graduation the police academy! Don't even get me started on Christmas, other holidays or anniversaries it's disgusting!! Anyway, I was thinking about gifts that could be enjoyed by more than one person. Let face it, most relationships don't last longer than 6 months and all those expensive gifts go to waste.
Ladies, the next time you want to treat your guy, instead of giving physical gifts do something for him instead. For instance, a gentlemen I know really likes to be massages, what guys doesn't? He suggested I take some massage classes, which I wouldn't do for someone I am just casually seeing but it was a good idea that I had to share. In fact, there are a ton of classes us girls can take to "give" to our guys. Here's a quick list of classes to take by yourself or as a couple to spice things up:
Cooking classes of any kind
Wine and cheese pairings
Massage
Hot couples Yoga
Couples retreats(not really a class but they are great for relationship tuneups)
Pole dancing classes (don't act like you're too good ladies)
Rock climbing
Surfing
Mountain Biking
Parasailing
Propelling
Sex seminars (I couldn't think of a better way to spend an afternoon)
Ballroom dancing
Fishing
White water rafting
Hunting
The list goes on and on depending on what your guy is into, also never underestimate the power of a sex shop. These are also things you can re-gift a hundred times over! I've heard a few times that most guys appreciate actions more than gifts so why not enjoy it too.
Of course guys don't mind showing off a new watch or iPad, but being able to tell his buddies that his girl surprised him with a semi-pro strip show... ummm yeah, who will be Mr. Popular that week?
Well, that's enough out of me for now, before I post I just want to say that being single is fun and exciting most of the time, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone special that I could do these things for and with.
Here are a few websites to look up in the Indy area for some couple fun classes.
www.kisszcook.com/
http://www.goby.com/whitewater-rafting--near--indianapolis-in
www.cookinggreekindy.com
www.poleupindy.com/
www.indypoledancers.com/
www.indyballroom.com/
www.climbtimeindy.com/
www.ledanseballroom.com/
www.sybaris.com
www.explorebrowncounty.com/zip-lines
http://localmarket.hotdateideas.com/Couples_Cooking_Classes_Indianapolis_IN-p1548283-Indianapolis_IN.html
http://livingsocial.com/cities/861-indianapolis-carmel-fishers
http://doingindy.com/2012/02/23/couples-art-classes-at-the-indianapolis-art-center/
When it comes to dating I'm not really in the game lately, but when it comes to being a girlfriend I'm a all-star! I'll do pretty much anything for a guy, and I'm horrible when it comes to gift giving! I once bought a boyfriend an Xbox 360 just for graduation the police academy! Don't even get me started on Christmas, other holidays or anniversaries it's disgusting!! Anyway, I was thinking about gifts that could be enjoyed by more than one person. Let face it, most relationships don't last longer than 6 months and all those expensive gifts go to waste.
Ladies, the next time you want to treat your guy, instead of giving physical gifts do something for him instead. For instance, a gentlemen I know really likes to be massages, what guys doesn't? He suggested I take some massage classes, which I wouldn't do for someone I am just casually seeing but it was a good idea that I had to share. In fact, there are a ton of classes us girls can take to "give" to our guys. Here's a quick list of classes to take by yourself or as a couple to spice things up:
Cooking classes of any kind
Wine and cheese pairings
Massage
Hot couples Yoga
Couples retreats(not really a class but they are great for relationship tuneups)
Pole dancing classes (don't act like you're too good ladies)
Rock climbing
Surfing
Mountain Biking
Parasailing
Propelling
Sex seminars (I couldn't think of a better way to spend an afternoon)
Ballroom dancing
Fishing
White water rafting
Hunting
The list goes on and on depending on what your guy is into, also never underestimate the power of a sex shop. These are also things you can re-gift a hundred times over! I've heard a few times that most guys appreciate actions more than gifts so why not enjoy it too.
Of course guys don't mind showing off a new watch or iPad, but being able to tell his buddies that his girl surprised him with a semi-pro strip show... ummm yeah, who will be Mr. Popular that week?
Well, that's enough out of me for now, before I post I just want to say that being single is fun and exciting most of the time, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone special that I could do these things for and with.
Here are a few websites to look up in the Indy area for some couple fun classes.
www.kisszcook.com/
http://www.goby.com/whitewater-rafting--near--indianapolis-in
www.cookinggreekindy.com
www.poleupindy.com/
www.indypoledancers.com/
www.indyballroom.com/
www.climbtimeindy.com/
www.ledanseballroom.com/
www.sybaris.com
www.explorebrowncounty.com/zip-lines
http://localmarket.hotdateideas.com/Couples_Cooking_Classes_Indianapolis_IN-p1548283-Indianapolis_IN.html
http://livingsocial.com/cities/861-indianapolis-carmel-fishers
http://doingindy.com/2012/02/23/couples-art-classes-at-the-indianapolis-art-center/
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #9
Right away I'd like to say thank you to my readers :)! As a new blogger anyone reading my posts gets me excited! But today when I logged in I noticed that I reached the 300+ mark and that made my whole day!
I'd like to invite everyone to send me a comment or even an email with a suggestion on a post, Whether it be an advice piece or a rant.
kathrynelucas@yahoo.com
Thank you again and I will continue to rant and advice without any prompt!
I'd like to invite everyone to send me a comment or even an email with a suggestion on a post, Whether it be an advice piece or a rant.
kathrynelucas@yahoo.com
Thank you again and I will continue to rant and advice without any prompt!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #8
My Really Weird Day
Today has been really weird for me. I don't usually have the feeling of need for physical contact but for some reason I wanted a hug, not just any kind of hug though, a real caring hug. Couldn't explain the urge at all. Also, at one point I had an intense feeling to cry, but was not sad and a moment later I was just as happy as could be. Weird, right?
Anyway, something I was thinking about earlier was the difference between relationships about 35 to 60 years ago and relationships now is distance. The internet and wide spread social media has broadened the relationship horizon. In a sociology class I took in college we discussed the bases of relationships and aside from similarities in personality one huge reason for any relationship is proximity. If you look at your best friends think back to how you met them, you more than likely met in school, work or social setting that had a fairly close proximity to your home.
There is a story I heard from someone at work that just melts my heart and gives me a little hope whenever I think about it and I wanted to share it, I have changed the names so that I don't violate HIPPA.
About 65 years ago Donna was 16, living on her own in Chicago. Going to school and working part time. Donna was downtown shopping on a fresh spring day and on this particular day there was a bunch of sailors home on leave for the weekend. As she walked down the street she notices a group of them across the street from the dime store, one in particular was staring. She didn't think much of it and walked into the store, a minute later John walked in and started to wonder about the store. John watched her from afar while she shopped, which wasn't very long, right before she left the store he approached her and confessed that she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen and couldn't leave Chicago without knowing her name. She of course was flattered and gave the young sailor her name along with her address for him to write to her while he was gone for 2 years.
They wrote to each other everyday and saw each other only a handful of times while he was in the military. They built a real relationship through paper and ink.
I don't believe it was love at first sight of course, but Nicholas Sparks couldn't write a better love story if he was drunk off of love potion #9. They lived a wonderful life together for over 60 years. Having 4 beautiful children, one they adopted from China. They were always happy and smiling, till about a year ago when John couldn't fight his cancer anymore. He had been sick for a very long time. Donna still weeps for him, and that, my friends, is real love.
As beautiful and romantic as this story is I can't help but think what would happen if the same thing would happen in this day and age. A guy fallowing you into a store and watching you while you shop, then stopping you just to ask for your name sounds like stalking to me and I would surely call the cops. Also, if you did somehow see past the stalker like tendencies would you really want to write to someone for two years without knowing them? Along with the fact that people now a days aren't as genuine or as patient. Who could really wait for someone for two years? I know that I couldn't, we are a generation of instant satisfaction. We have apps and short cuts for everything! There is so much temptation in the world today also that promising someone that for two years you will not look at any other person is just a flat out lie.
I don't think all romance is dead, I see romance fairly often and would be tickled if someone wanted to be romantic with me, I just think that romance is very different now and it kind of makes me sad to see the difference. Our world is so crazy and mixed up, we have to be more aware if someone is going to rape us after a first date rather than if that person is going to call us with in two days. But I suppose that is how the world works, I'm sure that in about 65 years someone will look back on to someones love story and think it is old fashioned to meet someone from college or work to settle down with.
Just a weird thing that was going through my head today that I thought I would share.
Today has been really weird for me. I don't usually have the feeling of need for physical contact but for some reason I wanted a hug, not just any kind of hug though, a real caring hug. Couldn't explain the urge at all. Also, at one point I had an intense feeling to cry, but was not sad and a moment later I was just as happy as could be. Weird, right?
Anyway, something I was thinking about earlier was the difference between relationships about 35 to 60 years ago and relationships now is distance. The internet and wide spread social media has broadened the relationship horizon. In a sociology class I took in college we discussed the bases of relationships and aside from similarities in personality one huge reason for any relationship is proximity. If you look at your best friends think back to how you met them, you more than likely met in school, work or social setting that had a fairly close proximity to your home.
There is a story I heard from someone at work that just melts my heart and gives me a little hope whenever I think about it and I wanted to share it, I have changed the names so that I don't violate HIPPA.
About 65 years ago Donna was 16, living on her own in Chicago. Going to school and working part time. Donna was downtown shopping on a fresh spring day and on this particular day there was a bunch of sailors home on leave for the weekend. As she walked down the street she notices a group of them across the street from the dime store, one in particular was staring. She didn't think much of it and walked into the store, a minute later John walked in and started to wonder about the store. John watched her from afar while she shopped, which wasn't very long, right before she left the store he approached her and confessed that she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen and couldn't leave Chicago without knowing her name. She of course was flattered and gave the young sailor her name along with her address for him to write to her while he was gone for 2 years.
They wrote to each other everyday and saw each other only a handful of times while he was in the military. They built a real relationship through paper and ink.
I don't believe it was love at first sight of course, but Nicholas Sparks couldn't write a better love story if he was drunk off of love potion #9. They lived a wonderful life together for over 60 years. Having 4 beautiful children, one they adopted from China. They were always happy and smiling, till about a year ago when John couldn't fight his cancer anymore. He had been sick for a very long time. Donna still weeps for him, and that, my friends, is real love.
As beautiful and romantic as this story is I can't help but think what would happen if the same thing would happen in this day and age. A guy fallowing you into a store and watching you while you shop, then stopping you just to ask for your name sounds like stalking to me and I would surely call the cops. Also, if you did somehow see past the stalker like tendencies would you really want to write to someone for two years without knowing them? Along with the fact that people now a days aren't as genuine or as patient. Who could really wait for someone for two years? I know that I couldn't, we are a generation of instant satisfaction. We have apps and short cuts for everything! There is so much temptation in the world today also that promising someone that for two years you will not look at any other person is just a flat out lie.
I don't think all romance is dead, I see romance fairly often and would be tickled if someone wanted to be romantic with me, I just think that romance is very different now and it kind of makes me sad to see the difference. Our world is so crazy and mixed up, we have to be more aware if someone is going to rape us after a first date rather than if that person is going to call us with in two days. But I suppose that is how the world works, I'm sure that in about 65 years someone will look back on to someones love story and think it is old fashioned to meet someone from college or work to settle down with.
Just a weird thing that was going through my head today that I thought I would share.
The Bedside Blogger #7
I feel like it is no big secret that I don't put a whole lot of faith in love and I should explain myself a little bit since most of my posts have been more against love and feeling than how to not be a crazy bitch high on natural body chemicals.
I'll start by saying that I always thought falling in love someone was supposed to feel like magic, a connection you've never had with anyone else. And maybe I just haven't felt that love before and that makes me doubt it, or maybe my expectations of love just are too high but I am pretty sure I have felt that I was in love before and I have felt connected with someone but they have never felt the same.
Side note: Every guy I've ever felt like I had feelings for has been a total selfish prick, which is probably why I liked them so much. But don't let that discredit me, knowing and feeling for them has taught me everything I know and I know a lot.
Back to the subject at hand, my reasoning behind my views on love. I have never had love proven to me, aside from family and friendship. Most people would say that is all I really need, those people have loving spouses or are even bigger man haters than I am. I am not a religious person either, I believe very heavily that everything can be explained with science and reasoning. My idea of spirituality is Karma, if you are a good person and try your hardest in every situation that you will be taken care of by the universe, or whatever guiding force that drives us through life. I feel like religious sometime has a part in how people love one another. If you believe in fairy tales than you are more than likely to be able to fall for that bull easier.
Another reason I am not a promoter of emotional love is that I feel like there is too much game play and drama. I know many couples that don't have drama at all and are very happy, but they are also pretty bored. Then there are those couples that fight and argue just to make up, I see it as game play. I hate to argue or fight, I had a relationship a long time ago that all we ever did was fight and argue about things that didn't matter, not that I regret that relationship ending, it was horribly toxic and needed to be over before it began. I've also had relationships that nothing was ever expressed or discussed... they didn't last very long. One of the worse feelings in relationships I have felt was wanting and caring for someone and finding out that they do not have the same feelings for you. I have no advice for getting over this feeling except that it is simply how the game is played. To keep certain peoples interest you have to play hard to get, and if you are like me you don't want to have to pretend you do not have feelings for them, you don't want to turn away from them or be destructive. If you are like me, you want to be able to fully want that person and have them want you in return. Maybe that is the underlying reason I have gotten so close to giving up on love, I am no longer tolerant of unrequited feelings and not ready to be stomped all over again.
Side note: Some advice really quick to go with my pointlessness, if you are in an argument and you know that it is pointless and you are done with it here is a simple solution, get NAKED. You can't argue naked.
I guess this rant and look into my thoughts all boils down to even though I am not a huge believer in true love, I have the experience of what not to do to get the guy you want, and if someone has already done that then maybe they can shed some light on the right way?
I'll start by saying that I always thought falling in love someone was supposed to feel like magic, a connection you've never had with anyone else. And maybe I just haven't felt that love before and that makes me doubt it, or maybe my expectations of love just are too high but I am pretty sure I have felt that I was in love before and I have felt connected with someone but they have never felt the same.
Side note: Every guy I've ever felt like I had feelings for has been a total selfish prick, which is probably why I liked them so much. But don't let that discredit me, knowing and feeling for them has taught me everything I know and I know a lot.
Back to the subject at hand, my reasoning behind my views on love. I have never had love proven to me, aside from family and friendship. Most people would say that is all I really need, those people have loving spouses or are even bigger man haters than I am. I am not a religious person either, I believe very heavily that everything can be explained with science and reasoning. My idea of spirituality is Karma, if you are a good person and try your hardest in every situation that you will be taken care of by the universe, or whatever guiding force that drives us through life. I feel like religious sometime has a part in how people love one another. If you believe in fairy tales than you are more than likely to be able to fall for that bull easier.
Another reason I am not a promoter of emotional love is that I feel like there is too much game play and drama. I know many couples that don't have drama at all and are very happy, but they are also pretty bored. Then there are those couples that fight and argue just to make up, I see it as game play. I hate to argue or fight, I had a relationship a long time ago that all we ever did was fight and argue about things that didn't matter, not that I regret that relationship ending, it was horribly toxic and needed to be over before it began. I've also had relationships that nothing was ever expressed or discussed... they didn't last very long. One of the worse feelings in relationships I have felt was wanting and caring for someone and finding out that they do not have the same feelings for you. I have no advice for getting over this feeling except that it is simply how the game is played. To keep certain peoples interest you have to play hard to get, and if you are like me you don't want to have to pretend you do not have feelings for them, you don't want to turn away from them or be destructive. If you are like me, you want to be able to fully want that person and have them want you in return. Maybe that is the underlying reason I have gotten so close to giving up on love, I am no longer tolerant of unrequited feelings and not ready to be stomped all over again.
Side note: Some advice really quick to go with my pointlessness, if you are in an argument and you know that it is pointless and you are done with it here is a simple solution, get NAKED. You can't argue naked.
I guess this rant and look into my thoughts all boils down to even though I am not a huge believer in true love, I have the experience of what not to do to get the guy you want, and if someone has already done that then maybe they can shed some light on the right way?
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