For Anthony Carey, stay safe and keep your head up, this too shall pass.
Rejection. Unrequited love. Desperation. Heart break. Loneliness. The sheer and utter sickness of being without the person you are fool-heartedly heels over head for. These are feelings that we have all possessed for someone at some point who ripped our hearts from our chests', shredded them with their bare hands then shoved it down our throats into a deep, dark pit in our stomachs. They are always the people we care about the most, no matter how hurt we are at the end of their brutal display of their disaffection.
When it comes to emotions I wasn't dealt a full hand, a few guys I know can tell you that, but if it's one feeling I can always identify it would be pain. I have had my fair share and then some of emotional pain, obviously there are people out in the world with much larger problems and more heartbreaking situations than I have had, but since I don't know them I will continue.
Being rejected by someone you feel deeply for is not only hard to take but hard to get over as well. We try to analyze it, make excuses for it, and then of course we get angry and try to walk away from it. Unfortunately 9 times out of 10 we are unsuccessful, walking away is the hardest part of losing someone. I don't have the magic answer to get over someone quickly but I do know a few ways to get yourself through it.
First, you need to realize that they rejected you for a reason, it's not sweet or comforting to think about and you may not really know the reason. The fact is, they don't want you. Bottom line. There is something about you that they do not want romantically. DO NOT become pitiful! DO NOT chase after them! DO NOT ask them to explain or "why" a hundred times. If they don't know then its just not what they want so you need to get over it. I know that's harsh and a touch of tough love but wouldn't you rather walk away with your head held high than crawling away on your knees, broken and bleeding?
Second, occupy your time. Sitting around waiting for them to come around, if they ever do, is going to drive you crazy and quite frankly is going to make you look even more pathetic. Find a new hobby, go out with friends, take some classes at a local community college, get a second job somewhere fun (and where you can get a discount on your favorite items) or even fitness. Fitness not only makes you look better but if makes you feel better, while you are running on the treadmill you are producing "feel good" chemicals that are pumping all through your body. Not only will occupying your time help you feel better but sometimes, spiteful immature people see you are happy without them and may start to think about why they left you in the first place. That is a huge "if" by the way, not "get them back" advice.
Lets stop for a second and talk about why people reject others. Commitment, intimacy and rejection fears of their own, they may be rejecting you without really knowing why. Or they like torturing people and just want to hurt someone to feel like they are in control. Although, sometimes its as simple as you are the one with the problems or they simply just don't have the same feelings you do. You can't blame them or hate them for their feelings, it's not like you haven't had these feelings about someone else at one point so you should understand.
Now for your final piece of advice to get your mind off of you're new found independence. Invest in yourself and have confidence. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is the best way to invest, its not always about money. Going to a spa, getting a massage, buying a new outfit, joining a gym or fitness club will not only make you feel better but it'll give you confidence. I preach confidence fairly regularly because you should be confident. You are an amazing person and there will be someone out there to love and care for you. Having confidence and knowing your worth is so important when it comes to finding your true happiness. My favorite quote is "You have to love yourself, before someone else can love you", and it's so true. I've said this to a few people and its kind of harsh but if you are a pathetic, depressed mess why would anyone want to be pathetically depressed with you?
So, to wrap it all up with a pretty pink bow rejection is a natural part of dating and life. If life was perfect for everyone we wouldn't be humans. You can always learn something about life with every painful experience. Some times it makes you bitter, I've been there, but sometimes it can also teach you how to survive emotionally. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
This subject came to me from someone who didn't really ask for my advice, but I find that my best advice is unsolicited.
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