For Anthony Carey, stay safe and keep your head up, this too shall pass.
Rejection. Unrequited love. Desperation. Heart break. Loneliness. The sheer and utter sickness of being without the person you are fool-heartedly heels over head for. These are feelings that we have all possessed for someone at some point who ripped our hearts from our chests', shredded them with their bare hands then shoved it down our throats into a deep, dark pit in our stomachs. They are always the people we care about the most, no matter how hurt we are at the end of their brutal display of their disaffection.
When it comes to emotions I wasn't dealt a full hand, a few guys I know can tell you that, but if it's one feeling I can always identify it would be pain. I have had my fair share and then some of emotional pain, obviously there are people out in the world with much larger problems and more heartbreaking situations than I have had, but since I don't know them I will continue.
Being rejected by someone you feel deeply for is not only hard to take but hard to get over as well. We try to analyze it, make excuses for it, and then of course we get angry and try to walk away from it. Unfortunately 9 times out of 10 we are unsuccessful, walking away is the hardest part of losing someone. I don't have the magic answer to get over someone quickly but I do know a few ways to get yourself through it.
First, you need to realize that they rejected you for a reason, it's not sweet or comforting to think about and you may not really know the reason. The fact is, they don't want you. Bottom line. There is something about you that they do not want romantically. DO NOT become pitiful! DO NOT chase after them! DO NOT ask them to explain or "why" a hundred times. If they don't know then its just not what they want so you need to get over it. I know that's harsh and a touch of tough love but wouldn't you rather walk away with your head held high than crawling away on your knees, broken and bleeding?
Second, occupy your time. Sitting around waiting for them to come around, if they ever do, is going to drive you crazy and quite frankly is going to make you look even more pathetic. Find a new hobby, go out with friends, take some classes at a local community college, get a second job somewhere fun (and where you can get a discount on your favorite items) or even fitness. Fitness not only makes you look better but if makes you feel better, while you are running on the treadmill you are producing "feel good" chemicals that are pumping all through your body. Not only will occupying your time help you feel better but sometimes, spiteful immature people see you are happy without them and may start to think about why they left you in the first place. That is a huge "if" by the way, not "get them back" advice.
Lets stop for a second and talk about why people reject others. Commitment, intimacy and rejection fears of their own, they may be rejecting you without really knowing why. Or they like torturing people and just want to hurt someone to feel like they are in control. Although, sometimes its as simple as you are the one with the problems or they simply just don't have the same feelings you do. You can't blame them or hate them for their feelings, it's not like you haven't had these feelings about someone else at one point so you should understand.
Now for your final piece of advice to get your mind off of you're new found independence. Invest in yourself and have confidence. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is the best way to invest, its not always about money. Going to a spa, getting a massage, buying a new outfit, joining a gym or fitness club will not only make you feel better but it'll give you confidence. I preach confidence fairly regularly because you should be confident. You are an amazing person and there will be someone out there to love and care for you. Having confidence and knowing your worth is so important when it comes to finding your true happiness. My favorite quote is "You have to love yourself, before someone else can love you", and it's so true. I've said this to a few people and its kind of harsh but if you are a pathetic, depressed mess why would anyone want to be pathetically depressed with you?
So, to wrap it all up with a pretty pink bow rejection is a natural part of dating and life. If life was perfect for everyone we wouldn't be humans. You can always learn something about life with every painful experience. Some times it makes you bitter, I've been there, but sometimes it can also teach you how to survive emotionally. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
This subject came to me from someone who didn't really ask for my advice, but I find that my best advice is unsolicited.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Bedside Blogger #11
Ok, rant time.
Today, I am annoyed with marriage. Not that I think marriage is bad or that people shouldn't get married but I'm annoyed that people are getting married so young and not treating it like a real commitment! Get married at 22, that's fine, but don't be surprised when you are bored after a year and end up getting divorced over stupid shit.
Story time. About two years ago I was invited to a wedding for a girl that I had worked with for a little while. I had no idea she had even been dating this guy for about a year and now she was getting married. I figured I would go and be supportive as she would be the first person I knew in my age group to get married. Well, I actually missed the wedding because I got the date wrong but no worry the marriage only lasted about a month... literally! Her Facebook relationship status changed so quickly I assumed it never changed. I never figured out why it didn't work out for sure but I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that she is pretty much a big kid and is in no way ready for that type of commitment or responsibility.
It's not that I think that everyone that gets married too young will fail miserably and end up fucking up their lives... although I would be about 60% correct, not a high enough percentage you say? Really? Lets think about this a little more. If 60% of airplanes crashed would you get on one? Or what if 40% of condoms didn't break... yeah, scary right! I know!
But, to prove I am not against marriage I will say that I know a few people my age or younger even who are married and very happy. My best friend in California for instance, has been married for about two years. Her husband is a U.S. Marine and they have two beautiful children together. I am jealous of her completely! She has some how made a life for herself, her kids and her husband so wonderful and full of love. She admits that at times it is hard and she has even said she wishes she would've waited, but then she looks at her babies and knows that they are worth more than anything she could get in the single world.
Another great example of young marriage gone right is my Uncle and his wife. They just welcomed their first child into the world and yes, they had their rocky points but they are so happy to have made it though the bad.
Not all good young marriages have to include kids either. I went to college with two girls that got married while in school and they are both insanely happy with their spouses and without kids for now. How do they do it? Well, I would say a big part of it was that they weren't in any rush. They knew they wanted to be with their significant others for the rest of their lives but also knew they wanted that title of husband and wife (aka that ring). They also had been dating their husbands for longer than 3 years. And were also engaged for quite a while before the actual knot was tied.
I myself have been proposed to a couple times and almost went through with it once, long story. But in the long run I knew it wasn't going to work out because I wasn't ready for that type of commitment and responsibility. A lot of girls see a wedding as a big party to show how grown up they are and don't see that its about celebrating the love you share with someone that you never want to sleep without, someone you never want to see walk out the door without saying you love them or kissing them good-bye.
Marriage is also about helping each other through the hard times. Deaths, births, moves, jobs, careers (there is a difference), sickness, and life altering experiences. I just don't think that younger people see that a marriage isn't about a big party or living with someone or even being with someone forever. A marriage is about trust, friendship, commitment, dedication and a deep connection with someone that you don't want to have with anyone else. Maybe that's just my mushy girly side coming out but these little bitches running around getting engaged at the age of 18 and 19 thinking they know what they are doing... just makes me so mad and honestly why would even make that an option in your life so young? I can personally say that its a bad idea and it should never be an option! There is always time to get married later in life.
Oh and being comfortable with someone isn't a good enough reason either! This statement should never come out of your mouth "Well, we have been together so long, we may as well get married". What. The. Fuck... No! Stop that right now!!
People get divorced after 20 years of marriage, being in a relationship for three years and getting married because you are just scared to start over with someone else should not be a reason to get married!! Yeah, sounds crazy, but I hear this reason way too often.
To conclude this rant the bottom line is stop being stupid! Marriage should still be sacred and treated like a real institution not some temporary living situation.
YOLO isn't a good enough reason either... stupid.
Today, I am annoyed with marriage. Not that I think marriage is bad or that people shouldn't get married but I'm annoyed that people are getting married so young and not treating it like a real commitment! Get married at 22, that's fine, but don't be surprised when you are bored after a year and end up getting divorced over stupid shit.
Story time. About two years ago I was invited to a wedding for a girl that I had worked with for a little while. I had no idea she had even been dating this guy for about a year and now she was getting married. I figured I would go and be supportive as she would be the first person I knew in my age group to get married. Well, I actually missed the wedding because I got the date wrong but no worry the marriage only lasted about a month... literally! Her Facebook relationship status changed so quickly I assumed it never changed. I never figured out why it didn't work out for sure but I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that she is pretty much a big kid and is in no way ready for that type of commitment or responsibility.
It's not that I think that everyone that gets married too young will fail miserably and end up fucking up their lives... although I would be about 60% correct, not a high enough percentage you say? Really? Lets think about this a little more. If 60% of airplanes crashed would you get on one? Or what if 40% of condoms didn't break... yeah, scary right! I know!
But, to prove I am not against marriage I will say that I know a few people my age or younger even who are married and very happy. My best friend in California for instance, has been married for about two years. Her husband is a U.S. Marine and they have two beautiful children together. I am jealous of her completely! She has some how made a life for herself, her kids and her husband so wonderful and full of love. She admits that at times it is hard and she has even said she wishes she would've waited, but then she looks at her babies and knows that they are worth more than anything she could get in the single world.
Another great example of young marriage gone right is my Uncle and his wife. They just welcomed their first child into the world and yes, they had their rocky points but they are so happy to have made it though the bad.
Not all good young marriages have to include kids either. I went to college with two girls that got married while in school and they are both insanely happy with their spouses and without kids for now. How do they do it? Well, I would say a big part of it was that they weren't in any rush. They knew they wanted to be with their significant others for the rest of their lives but also knew they wanted that title of husband and wife (aka that ring). They also had been dating their husbands for longer than 3 years. And were also engaged for quite a while before the actual knot was tied.
I myself have been proposed to a couple times and almost went through with it once, long story. But in the long run I knew it wasn't going to work out because I wasn't ready for that type of commitment and responsibility. A lot of girls see a wedding as a big party to show how grown up they are and don't see that its about celebrating the love you share with someone that you never want to sleep without, someone you never want to see walk out the door without saying you love them or kissing them good-bye.
Marriage is also about helping each other through the hard times. Deaths, births, moves, jobs, careers (there is a difference), sickness, and life altering experiences. I just don't think that younger people see that a marriage isn't about a big party or living with someone or even being with someone forever. A marriage is about trust, friendship, commitment, dedication and a deep connection with someone that you don't want to have with anyone else. Maybe that's just my mushy girly side coming out but these little bitches running around getting engaged at the age of 18 and 19 thinking they know what they are doing... just makes me so mad and honestly why would even make that an option in your life so young? I can personally say that its a bad idea and it should never be an option! There is always time to get married later in life.
Oh and being comfortable with someone isn't a good enough reason either! This statement should never come out of your mouth "Well, we have been together so long, we may as well get married". What. The. Fuck... No! Stop that right now!!
People get divorced after 20 years of marriage, being in a relationship for three years and getting married because you are just scared to start over with someone else should not be a reason to get married!! Yeah, sounds crazy, but I hear this reason way too often.
To conclude this rant the bottom line is stop being stupid! Marriage should still be sacred and treated like a real institution not some temporary living situation.
YOLO isn't a good enough reason either... stupid.
The Bedside Blogger #10
I have been a little recluse lately but I'm back with a few things that have been on my mind. The first being about myself and my love life, I'm a single 22 year old who works 50 hrs a week... I have nothing else to really think about. Let me also explain that realistically speaking I don't have much of a love life. I don't know if it is me or them but, lately men just haven't seen me as "girlfriend material", which is fine for now. More on that later, now, moving on to the first thing on my mind. Girlfriend obligations.
When it comes to dating I'm not really in the game lately, but when it comes to being a girlfriend I'm a all-star! I'll do pretty much anything for a guy, and I'm horrible when it comes to gift giving! I once bought a boyfriend an Xbox 360 just for graduation the police academy! Don't even get me started on Christmas, other holidays or anniversaries it's disgusting!! Anyway, I was thinking about gifts that could be enjoyed by more than one person. Let face it, most relationships don't last longer than 6 months and all those expensive gifts go to waste.
Ladies, the next time you want to treat your guy, instead of giving physical gifts do something for him instead. For instance, a gentlemen I know really likes to be massages, what guys doesn't? He suggested I take some massage classes, which I wouldn't do for someone I am just casually seeing but it was a good idea that I had to share. In fact, there are a ton of classes us girls can take to "give" to our guys. Here's a quick list of classes to take by yourself or as a couple to spice things up:
Cooking classes of any kind
Wine and cheese pairings
Massage
Hot couples Yoga
Couples retreats(not really a class but they are great for relationship tuneups)
Pole dancing classes (don't act like you're too good ladies)
Rock climbing
Surfing
Mountain Biking
Parasailing
Propelling
Sex seminars (I couldn't think of a better way to spend an afternoon)
Ballroom dancing
Fishing
White water rafting
Hunting
The list goes on and on depending on what your guy is into, also never underestimate the power of a sex shop. These are also things you can re-gift a hundred times over! I've heard a few times that most guys appreciate actions more than gifts so why not enjoy it too.
Of course guys don't mind showing off a new watch or iPad, but being able to tell his buddies that his girl surprised him with a semi-pro strip show... ummm yeah, who will be Mr. Popular that week?
Well, that's enough out of me for now, before I post I just want to say that being single is fun and exciting most of the time, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone special that I could do these things for and with.
Here are a few websites to look up in the Indy area for some couple fun classes.
www.kisszcook.com/
http://www.goby.com/whitewater-rafting--near--indianapolis-in
www.cookinggreekindy.com
www.poleupindy.com/
www.indypoledancers.com/
www.indyballroom.com/
www.climbtimeindy.com/
www.ledanseballroom.com/
www.sybaris.com
www.explorebrowncounty.com/zip-lines
http://localmarket.hotdateideas.com/Couples_Cooking_Classes_Indianapolis_IN-p1548283-Indianapolis_IN.html
http://livingsocial.com/cities/861-indianapolis-carmel-fishers
http://doingindy.com/2012/02/23/couples-art-classes-at-the-indianapolis-art-center/
When it comes to dating I'm not really in the game lately, but when it comes to being a girlfriend I'm a all-star! I'll do pretty much anything for a guy, and I'm horrible when it comes to gift giving! I once bought a boyfriend an Xbox 360 just for graduation the police academy! Don't even get me started on Christmas, other holidays or anniversaries it's disgusting!! Anyway, I was thinking about gifts that could be enjoyed by more than one person. Let face it, most relationships don't last longer than 6 months and all those expensive gifts go to waste.
Ladies, the next time you want to treat your guy, instead of giving physical gifts do something for him instead. For instance, a gentlemen I know really likes to be massages, what guys doesn't? He suggested I take some massage classes, which I wouldn't do for someone I am just casually seeing but it was a good idea that I had to share. In fact, there are a ton of classes us girls can take to "give" to our guys. Here's a quick list of classes to take by yourself or as a couple to spice things up:
Cooking classes of any kind
Wine and cheese pairings
Massage
Hot couples Yoga
Couples retreats(not really a class but they are great for relationship tuneups)
Pole dancing classes (don't act like you're too good ladies)
Rock climbing
Surfing
Mountain Biking
Parasailing
Propelling
Sex seminars (I couldn't think of a better way to spend an afternoon)
Ballroom dancing
Fishing
White water rafting
Hunting
The list goes on and on depending on what your guy is into, also never underestimate the power of a sex shop. These are also things you can re-gift a hundred times over! I've heard a few times that most guys appreciate actions more than gifts so why not enjoy it too.
Of course guys don't mind showing off a new watch or iPad, but being able to tell his buddies that his girl surprised him with a semi-pro strip show... ummm yeah, who will be Mr. Popular that week?
Well, that's enough out of me for now, before I post I just want to say that being single is fun and exciting most of the time, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone special that I could do these things for and with.
Here are a few websites to look up in the Indy area for some couple fun classes.
www.kisszcook.com/
http://www.goby.com/whitewater-rafting--near--indianapolis-in
www.cookinggreekindy.com
www.poleupindy.com/
www.indypoledancers.com/
www.indyballroom.com/
www.climbtimeindy.com/
www.ledanseballroom.com/
www.sybaris.com
www.explorebrowncounty.com/zip-lines
http://localmarket.hotdateideas.com/Couples_Cooking_Classes_Indianapolis_IN-p1548283-Indianapolis_IN.html
http://livingsocial.com/cities/861-indianapolis-carmel-fishers
http://doingindy.com/2012/02/23/couples-art-classes-at-the-indianapolis-art-center/
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #9
Right away I'd like to say thank you to my readers :)! As a new blogger anyone reading my posts gets me excited! But today when I logged in I noticed that I reached the 300+ mark and that made my whole day!
I'd like to invite everyone to send me a comment or even an email with a suggestion on a post, Whether it be an advice piece or a rant.
kathrynelucas@yahoo.com
Thank you again and I will continue to rant and advice without any prompt!
I'd like to invite everyone to send me a comment or even an email with a suggestion on a post, Whether it be an advice piece or a rant.
kathrynelucas@yahoo.com
Thank you again and I will continue to rant and advice without any prompt!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #8
My Really Weird Day
Today has been really weird for me. I don't usually have the feeling of need for physical contact but for some reason I wanted a hug, not just any kind of hug though, a real caring hug. Couldn't explain the urge at all. Also, at one point I had an intense feeling to cry, but was not sad and a moment later I was just as happy as could be. Weird, right?
Anyway, something I was thinking about earlier was the difference between relationships about 35 to 60 years ago and relationships now is distance. The internet and wide spread social media has broadened the relationship horizon. In a sociology class I took in college we discussed the bases of relationships and aside from similarities in personality one huge reason for any relationship is proximity. If you look at your best friends think back to how you met them, you more than likely met in school, work or social setting that had a fairly close proximity to your home.
There is a story I heard from someone at work that just melts my heart and gives me a little hope whenever I think about it and I wanted to share it, I have changed the names so that I don't violate HIPPA.
About 65 years ago Donna was 16, living on her own in Chicago. Going to school and working part time. Donna was downtown shopping on a fresh spring day and on this particular day there was a bunch of sailors home on leave for the weekend. As she walked down the street she notices a group of them across the street from the dime store, one in particular was staring. She didn't think much of it and walked into the store, a minute later John walked in and started to wonder about the store. John watched her from afar while she shopped, which wasn't very long, right before she left the store he approached her and confessed that she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen and couldn't leave Chicago without knowing her name. She of course was flattered and gave the young sailor her name along with her address for him to write to her while he was gone for 2 years.
They wrote to each other everyday and saw each other only a handful of times while he was in the military. They built a real relationship through paper and ink.
I don't believe it was love at first sight of course, but Nicholas Sparks couldn't write a better love story if he was drunk off of love potion #9. They lived a wonderful life together for over 60 years. Having 4 beautiful children, one they adopted from China. They were always happy and smiling, till about a year ago when John couldn't fight his cancer anymore. He had been sick for a very long time. Donna still weeps for him, and that, my friends, is real love.
As beautiful and romantic as this story is I can't help but think what would happen if the same thing would happen in this day and age. A guy fallowing you into a store and watching you while you shop, then stopping you just to ask for your name sounds like stalking to me and I would surely call the cops. Also, if you did somehow see past the stalker like tendencies would you really want to write to someone for two years without knowing them? Along with the fact that people now a days aren't as genuine or as patient. Who could really wait for someone for two years? I know that I couldn't, we are a generation of instant satisfaction. We have apps and short cuts for everything! There is so much temptation in the world today also that promising someone that for two years you will not look at any other person is just a flat out lie.
I don't think all romance is dead, I see romance fairly often and would be tickled if someone wanted to be romantic with me, I just think that romance is very different now and it kind of makes me sad to see the difference. Our world is so crazy and mixed up, we have to be more aware if someone is going to rape us after a first date rather than if that person is going to call us with in two days. But I suppose that is how the world works, I'm sure that in about 65 years someone will look back on to someones love story and think it is old fashioned to meet someone from college or work to settle down with.
Just a weird thing that was going through my head today that I thought I would share.
Today has been really weird for me. I don't usually have the feeling of need for physical contact but for some reason I wanted a hug, not just any kind of hug though, a real caring hug. Couldn't explain the urge at all. Also, at one point I had an intense feeling to cry, but was not sad and a moment later I was just as happy as could be. Weird, right?
Anyway, something I was thinking about earlier was the difference between relationships about 35 to 60 years ago and relationships now is distance. The internet and wide spread social media has broadened the relationship horizon. In a sociology class I took in college we discussed the bases of relationships and aside from similarities in personality one huge reason for any relationship is proximity. If you look at your best friends think back to how you met them, you more than likely met in school, work or social setting that had a fairly close proximity to your home.
There is a story I heard from someone at work that just melts my heart and gives me a little hope whenever I think about it and I wanted to share it, I have changed the names so that I don't violate HIPPA.
About 65 years ago Donna was 16, living on her own in Chicago. Going to school and working part time. Donna was downtown shopping on a fresh spring day and on this particular day there was a bunch of sailors home on leave for the weekend. As she walked down the street she notices a group of them across the street from the dime store, one in particular was staring. She didn't think much of it and walked into the store, a minute later John walked in and started to wonder about the store. John watched her from afar while she shopped, which wasn't very long, right before she left the store he approached her and confessed that she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen and couldn't leave Chicago without knowing her name. She of course was flattered and gave the young sailor her name along with her address for him to write to her while he was gone for 2 years.
They wrote to each other everyday and saw each other only a handful of times while he was in the military. They built a real relationship through paper and ink.
I don't believe it was love at first sight of course, but Nicholas Sparks couldn't write a better love story if he was drunk off of love potion #9. They lived a wonderful life together for over 60 years. Having 4 beautiful children, one they adopted from China. They were always happy and smiling, till about a year ago when John couldn't fight his cancer anymore. He had been sick for a very long time. Donna still weeps for him, and that, my friends, is real love.
As beautiful and romantic as this story is I can't help but think what would happen if the same thing would happen in this day and age. A guy fallowing you into a store and watching you while you shop, then stopping you just to ask for your name sounds like stalking to me and I would surely call the cops. Also, if you did somehow see past the stalker like tendencies would you really want to write to someone for two years without knowing them? Along with the fact that people now a days aren't as genuine or as patient. Who could really wait for someone for two years? I know that I couldn't, we are a generation of instant satisfaction. We have apps and short cuts for everything! There is so much temptation in the world today also that promising someone that for two years you will not look at any other person is just a flat out lie.
I don't think all romance is dead, I see romance fairly often and would be tickled if someone wanted to be romantic with me, I just think that romance is very different now and it kind of makes me sad to see the difference. Our world is so crazy and mixed up, we have to be more aware if someone is going to rape us after a first date rather than if that person is going to call us with in two days. But I suppose that is how the world works, I'm sure that in about 65 years someone will look back on to someones love story and think it is old fashioned to meet someone from college or work to settle down with.
Just a weird thing that was going through my head today that I thought I would share.
The Bedside Blogger #7
I feel like it is no big secret that I don't put a whole lot of faith in love and I should explain myself a little bit since most of my posts have been more against love and feeling than how to not be a crazy bitch high on natural body chemicals.
I'll start by saying that I always thought falling in love someone was supposed to feel like magic, a connection you've never had with anyone else. And maybe I just haven't felt that love before and that makes me doubt it, or maybe my expectations of love just are too high but I am pretty sure I have felt that I was in love before and I have felt connected with someone but they have never felt the same.
Side note: Every guy I've ever felt like I had feelings for has been a total selfish prick, which is probably why I liked them so much. But don't let that discredit me, knowing and feeling for them has taught me everything I know and I know a lot.
Back to the subject at hand, my reasoning behind my views on love. I have never had love proven to me, aside from family and friendship. Most people would say that is all I really need, those people have loving spouses or are even bigger man haters than I am. I am not a religious person either, I believe very heavily that everything can be explained with science and reasoning. My idea of spirituality is Karma, if you are a good person and try your hardest in every situation that you will be taken care of by the universe, or whatever guiding force that drives us through life. I feel like religious sometime has a part in how people love one another. If you believe in fairy tales than you are more than likely to be able to fall for that bull easier.
Another reason I am not a promoter of emotional love is that I feel like there is too much game play and drama. I know many couples that don't have drama at all and are very happy, but they are also pretty bored. Then there are those couples that fight and argue just to make up, I see it as game play. I hate to argue or fight, I had a relationship a long time ago that all we ever did was fight and argue about things that didn't matter, not that I regret that relationship ending, it was horribly toxic and needed to be over before it began. I've also had relationships that nothing was ever expressed or discussed... they didn't last very long. One of the worse feelings in relationships I have felt was wanting and caring for someone and finding out that they do not have the same feelings for you. I have no advice for getting over this feeling except that it is simply how the game is played. To keep certain peoples interest you have to play hard to get, and if you are like me you don't want to have to pretend you do not have feelings for them, you don't want to turn away from them or be destructive. If you are like me, you want to be able to fully want that person and have them want you in return. Maybe that is the underlying reason I have gotten so close to giving up on love, I am no longer tolerant of unrequited feelings and not ready to be stomped all over again.
Side note: Some advice really quick to go with my pointlessness, if you are in an argument and you know that it is pointless and you are done with it here is a simple solution, get NAKED. You can't argue naked.
I guess this rant and look into my thoughts all boils down to even though I am not a huge believer in true love, I have the experience of what not to do to get the guy you want, and if someone has already done that then maybe they can shed some light on the right way?
I'll start by saying that I always thought falling in love someone was supposed to feel like magic, a connection you've never had with anyone else. And maybe I just haven't felt that love before and that makes me doubt it, or maybe my expectations of love just are too high but I am pretty sure I have felt that I was in love before and I have felt connected with someone but they have never felt the same.
Side note: Every guy I've ever felt like I had feelings for has been a total selfish prick, which is probably why I liked them so much. But don't let that discredit me, knowing and feeling for them has taught me everything I know and I know a lot.
Back to the subject at hand, my reasoning behind my views on love. I have never had love proven to me, aside from family and friendship. Most people would say that is all I really need, those people have loving spouses or are even bigger man haters than I am. I am not a religious person either, I believe very heavily that everything can be explained with science and reasoning. My idea of spirituality is Karma, if you are a good person and try your hardest in every situation that you will be taken care of by the universe, or whatever guiding force that drives us through life. I feel like religious sometime has a part in how people love one another. If you believe in fairy tales than you are more than likely to be able to fall for that bull easier.
Another reason I am not a promoter of emotional love is that I feel like there is too much game play and drama. I know many couples that don't have drama at all and are very happy, but they are also pretty bored. Then there are those couples that fight and argue just to make up, I see it as game play. I hate to argue or fight, I had a relationship a long time ago that all we ever did was fight and argue about things that didn't matter, not that I regret that relationship ending, it was horribly toxic and needed to be over before it began. I've also had relationships that nothing was ever expressed or discussed... they didn't last very long. One of the worse feelings in relationships I have felt was wanting and caring for someone and finding out that they do not have the same feelings for you. I have no advice for getting over this feeling except that it is simply how the game is played. To keep certain peoples interest you have to play hard to get, and if you are like me you don't want to have to pretend you do not have feelings for them, you don't want to turn away from them or be destructive. If you are like me, you want to be able to fully want that person and have them want you in return. Maybe that is the underlying reason I have gotten so close to giving up on love, I am no longer tolerant of unrequited feelings and not ready to be stomped all over again.
Side note: Some advice really quick to go with my pointlessness, if you are in an argument and you know that it is pointless and you are done with it here is a simple solution, get NAKED. You can't argue naked.
I guess this rant and look into my thoughts all boils down to even though I am not a huge believer in true love, I have the experience of what not to do to get the guy you want, and if someone has already done that then maybe they can shed some light on the right way?
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #6
Oh, couples. You're all so cute with your cheesy Facebook posts and adorable pictures of your obvious staged perfect couples kiss. And all you guys in relationships doing such sweet things for your girls, no wonder they can't keep from gushing all over about how much they "love their man".
Stop it.
I'm not trying to be a bitch but I'm really sick and tired of seeing "I love him so much" after you've only known this guy for two weeks. I have already explained what makes that love feeling in previous posts so I won't go into detail, but come one people!! Are we still in high school?
I have a friend, whom I care about deeply, known for years and admire very much, and she has been in a relationship for over a year with someone that she does love very much. How do I know this? Not because she vomits lovely poetry, "I love you Blank Blank Blankerson" posts or because she has kissy face pictures uploading on a daily basis, but because she actually believes in love. She has worked hard to keep their connection tight and when it faults from time to time she usually freaks out a little about normal girl worries and some times I get to listen and give a little advice. That to me is normal love, not saying it a million times for the whole world to read and then break up a week later over something really stupid and making an even bigger display over how "heart broken" you are, just to jump into another relationship a week later and the cycle continues every few months.
Now, I'm not saying that love at first sight can't happen or that I don't believe in love at all (getting there but working on it)but... Actually, who am I kidding, I don't believe in "love at first sight", that is called infatuation and lust. To really love someone you should probably know more about them then the standard "getting to know someone" questions. Attraction is a huge part of falling in love with someone, but basing a should-be deep feeling on how you felt the moment you saw them is just insane.
Saying "I love you" should be a huge commitment. When you say you love a friend or a food group its way different than saying it to someone that you are planning to be with for a little while and people should treat it as such.
I don't think I'm perfect by any means, I have had these crazy feelings before and like everyone else I figured out pretty quick that those were just "honeymoon" feelings. Those experiences have taught me a lot about who I am and what love style I am. They have also taught me where the fine line between love and crazy is... less than many people think. Everyone sees these things differently but shouldn't everyone realize that the addictive properties of early infatuation are what drives us in most relationships?
In short, stop infecting my feed with your crazy. You really don't "love him" if you have only been together for less 4 months. How could you possibly be that invested in someone that they are all you have to talk about all day everyday? Unless you are trying to shove it in peoples faces on purpose, which is a whole other batch of crazy that I just don't have time to touch on.
Stop it.
I'm not trying to be a bitch but I'm really sick and tired of seeing "I love him so much" after you've only known this guy for two weeks. I have already explained what makes that love feeling in previous posts so I won't go into detail, but come one people!! Are we still in high school?
I have a friend, whom I care about deeply, known for years and admire very much, and she has been in a relationship for over a year with someone that she does love very much. How do I know this? Not because she vomits lovely poetry, "I love you Blank Blank Blankerson" posts or because she has kissy face pictures uploading on a daily basis, but because she actually believes in love. She has worked hard to keep their connection tight and when it faults from time to time she usually freaks out a little about normal girl worries and some times I get to listen and give a little advice. That to me is normal love, not saying it a million times for the whole world to read and then break up a week later over something really stupid and making an even bigger display over how "heart broken" you are, just to jump into another relationship a week later and the cycle continues every few months.
Now, I'm not saying that love at first sight can't happen or that I don't believe in love at all (getting there but working on it)but... Actually, who am I kidding, I don't believe in "love at first sight", that is called infatuation and lust. To really love someone you should probably know more about them then the standard "getting to know someone" questions. Attraction is a huge part of falling in love with someone, but basing a should-be deep feeling on how you felt the moment you saw them is just insane.
Saying "I love you" should be a huge commitment. When you say you love a friend or a food group its way different than saying it to someone that you are planning to be with for a little while and people should treat it as such.
I don't think I'm perfect by any means, I have had these crazy feelings before and like everyone else I figured out pretty quick that those were just "honeymoon" feelings. Those experiences have taught me a lot about who I am and what love style I am. They have also taught me where the fine line between love and crazy is... less than many people think. Everyone sees these things differently but shouldn't everyone realize that the addictive properties of early infatuation are what drives us in most relationships?
In short, stop infecting my feed with your crazy. You really don't "love him" if you have only been together for less 4 months. How could you possibly be that invested in someone that they are all you have to talk about all day everyday? Unless you are trying to shove it in peoples faces on purpose, which is a whole other batch of crazy that I just don't have time to touch on.
Monday, July 16, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #5
50 Shades of Grey
I have just started this book, I don't really get a chance to read often, but already I'm really bored. I'm on the 6th chapter and nothing is happening. I feel like I'm watching the first 5 episodes of this seasons True Blood(slow and pointless). I would like to know what all the hype is about to be honest. Unlike most women I see nothing wrong with strip clubs or porn and I really don't think that women should judge other women or men even for enjoying such activities. Also, with Magic Mike out in theaters they have no room to talk.
Anyway, while reading the first 6 chapters of 50 shades I stated to think about Grey and if I would be attracted to him as the main character is. I have been picturing him as Eric Northman from True Blood, only because I heard a rumor that he might take the roll in the up coming movie, and so that I would be physically attracted to him. But the arrogance and weird way this guy talks just throws me completely off. I'm sorry, but if some rich dude asked me to coffee and held my had the whole time I'd be a little more than frazzled, who holds hands with someone they barely know?!? I've been in relationships that I barely touch them in public, not because we didn't have feelings for each other but because we aren't 13 years old!
I was also warned that the level of reading was fairly low but this women uses the same descriptive word multiple times in a paragraph, and not in an ironic way! I am going to power through it because I already bought the book and everyone is talking about it which usually means that it is good at some point. We shall see about this.
Back to Mr. Grey, I don't see the attraction at all, aside from my own fantasy of Eric Northman. I get that he is rich and intelligent but everything else about him makes me recoil. That much arrogance and palpable narcissism just makes me wonder how sick women really are inside. We want someone to make us feel vulnerable and childish... Daddy issues much? And really, a man in Grey's position in life would never go to the lengths that this character has just to seduce a college senior. Grey has power, money, and looks. Please tell me why he would be so enthralled with a random girl he met once for an interview. I have come to the conclusion that generally women want to feel like they are special just the way they are. Well, listen to a Bruno Mars song, no rich, handsome man is going to realistically tract you down from about a state away, seduce you into being his submissive, fall for you and eventually not break your heart... Come on girls, we aren't that naive.
I understand this is a subculture within the fetish community and like anything to do with human sexuality it interests me but I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around this one. Probably because the characters are so ill-spoken, all the dialogue so far has been rigid and stuffy, not one of the characters has a personality. The only character that is remotely literate and lively is Grey, but even he sounds like a standardized test model most of the time. I really hope that the writers of the screen play will create better conversations that aren't so painfully awkward to read.
I have the sinking feeling that there will be many erotica novels published after this that will also be poorly written and wildly popular because they are promoted right.
To wrap up my rant I will just say that I am going to read the books with the idea that Mr. Northman will not disappoint, and to further express the bad taste that this fantasy is leaving in my mouth I will only watch the movie if Eric Northman is indeed portraying Christian Grey, they writers have nothing to do with the original author and the actress that is picked to be Ana is prettier than Bella from "Twatlight"(not a misspelling). That would be the only way it would be worth seeing.
I have just started this book, I don't really get a chance to read often, but already I'm really bored. I'm on the 6th chapter and nothing is happening. I feel like I'm watching the first 5 episodes of this seasons True Blood(slow and pointless). I would like to know what all the hype is about to be honest. Unlike most women I see nothing wrong with strip clubs or porn and I really don't think that women should judge other women or men even for enjoying such activities. Also, with Magic Mike out in theaters they have no room to talk.
Anyway, while reading the first 6 chapters of 50 shades I stated to think about Grey and if I would be attracted to him as the main character is. I have been picturing him as Eric Northman from True Blood, only because I heard a rumor that he might take the roll in the up coming movie, and so that I would be physically attracted to him. But the arrogance and weird way this guy talks just throws me completely off. I'm sorry, but if some rich dude asked me to coffee and held my had the whole time I'd be a little more than frazzled, who holds hands with someone they barely know?!? I've been in relationships that I barely touch them in public, not because we didn't have feelings for each other but because we aren't 13 years old!
I was also warned that the level of reading was fairly low but this women uses the same descriptive word multiple times in a paragraph, and not in an ironic way! I am going to power through it because I already bought the book and everyone is talking about it which usually means that it is good at some point. We shall see about this.
Back to Mr. Grey, I don't see the attraction at all, aside from my own fantasy of Eric Northman. I get that he is rich and intelligent but everything else about him makes me recoil. That much arrogance and palpable narcissism just makes me wonder how sick women really are inside. We want someone to make us feel vulnerable and childish... Daddy issues much? And really, a man in Grey's position in life would never go to the lengths that this character has just to seduce a college senior. Grey has power, money, and looks. Please tell me why he would be so enthralled with a random girl he met once for an interview. I have come to the conclusion that generally women want to feel like they are special just the way they are. Well, listen to a Bruno Mars song, no rich, handsome man is going to realistically tract you down from about a state away, seduce you into being his submissive, fall for you and eventually not break your heart... Come on girls, we aren't that naive.
I understand this is a subculture within the fetish community and like anything to do with human sexuality it interests me but I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around this one. Probably because the characters are so ill-spoken, all the dialogue so far has been rigid and stuffy, not one of the characters has a personality. The only character that is remotely literate and lively is Grey, but even he sounds like a standardized test model most of the time. I really hope that the writers of the screen play will create better conversations that aren't so painfully awkward to read.
I have the sinking feeling that there will be many erotica novels published after this that will also be poorly written and wildly popular because they are promoted right.
To wrap up my rant I will just say that I am going to read the books with the idea that Mr. Northman will not disappoint, and to further express the bad taste that this fantasy is leaving in my mouth I will only watch the movie if Eric Northman is indeed portraying Christian Grey, they writers have nothing to do with the original author and the actress that is picked to be Ana is prettier than Bella from "Twatlight"(not a misspelling). That would be the only way it would be worth seeing.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Bedside Blogger#4
Advice day
One thing I hate more than anything is chicks being overly attached to a man. Women have a bad habit of over doing and over thinking every single situation, myself included!
We need to take a chill pill and stop being so crazy. This includes ex, currents and prospects. Men need space to figure out if they are even into having a relationship with you, if you smother them with attention from the get go he'll never have that alone time to realize he doesn't want to be alone. Thus, missing your company.
I have to say that along with girls being overly attached I really hate it when girls are super needy and dramatic! If a dude wants you, he will pursue you. Do not send him text messages every day just to see "what's up?". Let him come to you. If he doesn't contact you first that probably means he doesn't want to and that's ok! Do not proceed to wallow and sulk in it! And please, oh please, do NOT plaster it all over Facebook and Twitter!!
This is where you need to think like a dude. This is a tool that most women don't even know they have. Its not very hard and it would save you so much time and energy. When you are in a new relationship with a guy, try to get inside his head. I don't mean try to analyze his whole life, you have to think in the moment because he isn't thinking about the future.
Here's your scenario: You just met Allen, he's smart, good looking and successful. You've gone out for drinks and had a good first kiss. Your first instinct as a girl is to text him ASAP... FIGHT THIS URGE!! Wait for him to contact you first, seems old fashioned, I know. If he is into you and had a good time he will tell you. Guys are not afraid to go after something that they want.
Now, Allen sends you a quick text when he gets home and says "Had a great time tonight :)", short and sweet. Your silly urges are going to kick in again, and you have to hold back and not reply right away. I'm not saying wait a whole day, just wait a little while and do things to get your mind off of it for about 20 minute. Brush you teeth, get your sweats on and pop in a DVD, watch about 15 minutes of it and reply with something cute and short.
For example, since he had a great time and added a smiley face you should recap one of your favorite conversation points from the evening like "Me too, I can't wait to rent that Seth Rogan movie you suggested!", which if you're like me, you have already seen every Seth Rogan movie ever made, but it shows that you appreciate his point of view and you have a similar interest.
This may lead to a conversation, keep it light and short. Leave him wanting more. After about three or four texts you should say you are about to go to bed and remind him that you had a great time too.
But what if he doesn't text or call? No big deal, you had approximately one day invested in him so you should move on and not over think the situation. There is nothing wrong with having a little hardheartedness when it comes to the dating world.
I have learned that when dating and getting to know a man you should try to stay neutral till you know if they're worth the work and time that a relationship entails.
To recap:
Don't blow up his phone
Don't over think or drive yourself crazy trying to decipher his every word
Let him make the moves
Don't get too attached... ever
And finally do not use social networks to embarrass yourself, you may be able to delete that post later but the damage will be done long before you realize what your crazy ass has done.
One thing I hate more than anything is chicks being overly attached to a man. Women have a bad habit of over doing and over thinking every single situation, myself included!
We need to take a chill pill and stop being so crazy. This includes ex, currents and prospects. Men need space to figure out if they are even into having a relationship with you, if you smother them with attention from the get go he'll never have that alone time to realize he doesn't want to be alone. Thus, missing your company.
I have to say that along with girls being overly attached I really hate it when girls are super needy and dramatic! If a dude wants you, he will pursue you. Do not send him text messages every day just to see "what's up?". Let him come to you. If he doesn't contact you first that probably means he doesn't want to and that's ok! Do not proceed to wallow and sulk in it! And please, oh please, do NOT plaster it all over Facebook and Twitter!!
This is where you need to think like a dude. This is a tool that most women don't even know they have. Its not very hard and it would save you so much time and energy. When you are in a new relationship with a guy, try to get inside his head. I don't mean try to analyze his whole life, you have to think in the moment because he isn't thinking about the future.
Here's your scenario: You just met Allen, he's smart, good looking and successful. You've gone out for drinks and had a good first kiss. Your first instinct as a girl is to text him ASAP... FIGHT THIS URGE!! Wait for him to contact you first, seems old fashioned, I know. If he is into you and had a good time he will tell you. Guys are not afraid to go after something that they want.
Now, Allen sends you a quick text when he gets home and says "Had a great time tonight :)", short and sweet. Your silly urges are going to kick in again, and you have to hold back and not reply right away. I'm not saying wait a whole day, just wait a little while and do things to get your mind off of it for about 20 minute. Brush you teeth, get your sweats on and pop in a DVD, watch about 15 minutes of it and reply with something cute and short.
For example, since he had a great time and added a smiley face you should recap one of your favorite conversation points from the evening like "Me too, I can't wait to rent that Seth Rogan movie you suggested!", which if you're like me, you have already seen every Seth Rogan movie ever made, but it shows that you appreciate his point of view and you have a similar interest.
This may lead to a conversation, keep it light and short. Leave him wanting more. After about three or four texts you should say you are about to go to bed and remind him that you had a great time too.
But what if he doesn't text or call? No big deal, you had approximately one day invested in him so you should move on and not over think the situation. There is nothing wrong with having a little hardheartedness when it comes to the dating world.
I have learned that when dating and getting to know a man you should try to stay neutral till you know if they're worth the work and time that a relationship entails.
To recap:
Don't blow up his phone
Don't over think or drive yourself crazy trying to decipher his every word
Let him make the moves
Don't get too attached... ever
And finally do not use social networks to embarrass yourself, you may be able to delete that post later but the damage will be done long before you realize what your crazy ass has done.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
They Bedside Blogger #3
Alright, today my serotonin levels are really low, not sure why but I my only thought is that I'm lonely.
Yes, I have a wonderful group of friends and family but something is missing. I love being single and having freedoms, but it would be really nice to have someone to sit on the couch with and hold hands. Someone I can make dinner for and just feel happy with. Like annoyingly happy.
So today I'm going to sit in my apartment, watch RomComs, clean, do laundry and sulk in my own single status.
Like to say that every romance movie has the same plot and I'm kinda sick of it.. not that I will stop watching every single Kathrine Heigl movie that comes out. Its goes like this; boy meets girl, they get close, have conflict, reunite, confess love, live happily ever after... Really!?! Has this ever happened in the history of dating? Has anyone ever tracked someone down to stop them from leaving or convinced them to stay and give love another chance? Umm... Noooo!!
Although this got me thinking about why we all want this to happen, and I came up with the conclusion that it is the mixture of pheromones, "love" chemicals, and Hollywood. We are already programmed to procreate and when you add in all that silly cliche' romance it's just a recipe for disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in emotional love that can last for a life time... I just haven't had it proven to me yet and don't see it happening any time soon. Guys these days don't really have to prove it, the whole "plenty of fish" thing ya know. Anyway, back to my rant on love and what Hollywood has told us what love should look like. In Hollywood you should meet someone in a cute or ironic way, like meeting in a very public place, seeing each other across the room and just knowing you have to talk to them.
Well, let me tell you a story about two people who met in a deli, seems sweet and perfect right? For the story's sake we will just go by "girl" and "crazy". And to set the scene I will admit that Girl was wearing clothes from last night, messy ponytail, and smeared make up. Crazy was wearing classic douche bag gear and sitting at a table facing the door when Girl walks in and sees Crazy out of the corner of her eye and flashes a smile. Crazy waits and approaches Girl with the classic "you look so familiar" line. Ironically enough he did know Girls best friend through high school acquaintances. They exchange numbers, add on Facebook and the story kicks off. Crazy waited about a month to ask girl to hang out, seems legit right? Wrong.... turns out Crazy was an alcoholic, couch surfer, and part time server at a restaurant who was on probation for a "misunderstanding" with an ex. Let's just say this "relationship" didn't last very long and ended very very loudly. Crazy did try to reconnect with Girl but Girl rejected him hard core. Obviously the cliche Hollywood plot doesn't work out in real life.
In conclusion, Hollywood 0, Kate 1
Love is complicated and is annoying me today but for some reason I can't stay away from watching it.
Yes, I have a wonderful group of friends and family but something is missing. I love being single and having freedoms, but it would be really nice to have someone to sit on the couch with and hold hands. Someone I can make dinner for and just feel happy with. Like annoyingly happy.
So today I'm going to sit in my apartment, watch RomComs, clean, do laundry and sulk in my own single status.
Like to say that every romance movie has the same plot and I'm kinda sick of it.. not that I will stop watching every single Kathrine Heigl movie that comes out. Its goes like this; boy meets girl, they get close, have conflict, reunite, confess love, live happily ever after... Really!?! Has this ever happened in the history of dating? Has anyone ever tracked someone down to stop them from leaving or convinced them to stay and give love another chance? Umm... Noooo!!
Although this got me thinking about why we all want this to happen, and I came up with the conclusion that it is the mixture of pheromones, "love" chemicals, and Hollywood. We are already programmed to procreate and when you add in all that silly cliche' romance it's just a recipe for disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in emotional love that can last for a life time... I just haven't had it proven to me yet and don't see it happening any time soon. Guys these days don't really have to prove it, the whole "plenty of fish" thing ya know. Anyway, back to my rant on love and what Hollywood has told us what love should look like. In Hollywood you should meet someone in a cute or ironic way, like meeting in a very public place, seeing each other across the room and just knowing you have to talk to them.
Well, let me tell you a story about two people who met in a deli, seems sweet and perfect right? For the story's sake we will just go by "girl" and "crazy". And to set the scene I will admit that Girl was wearing clothes from last night, messy ponytail, and smeared make up. Crazy was wearing classic douche bag gear and sitting at a table facing the door when Girl walks in and sees Crazy out of the corner of her eye and flashes a smile. Crazy waits and approaches Girl with the classic "you look so familiar" line. Ironically enough he did know Girls best friend through high school acquaintances. They exchange numbers, add on Facebook and the story kicks off. Crazy waited about a month to ask girl to hang out, seems legit right? Wrong.... turns out Crazy was an alcoholic, couch surfer, and part time server at a restaurant who was on probation for a "misunderstanding" with an ex. Let's just say this "relationship" didn't last very long and ended very very loudly. Crazy did try to reconnect with Girl but Girl rejected him hard core. Obviously the cliche Hollywood plot doesn't work out in real life.
In conclusion, Hollywood 0, Kate 1
Love is complicated and is annoying me today but for some reason I can't stay away from watching it.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The Bedside Blogger #2
Entry #4- The Bedside Blogger 2
Confidence, some people say its something you're born with.
Well, I say those people are either too scared or too dumb to see that it's something that you can learn and master with a few good tricks, some faking, and the perfect lip gloss.
First, lets talk about some tricks to being confident even when you feel and look like a train wreck.
1. Smile :) - Why? Smiling actually causes your brain to release "happy" chemicals and everyone knows that smiling is contagious.
2. Posture- Sitting, standing, walking with your chest and chin up shows that you are comfortable in a crowd which equals confidence.
3. Be Natural- You don't need a lot of make up to be beautiful. Read any Cosmo any given month of the year and there will be some tidbit about how guys like a more natural beauty.
When you think about it who really wants to wake up next to someone who has half of their face on the pillow? Also, when you are more comfortable in your own skin you won't worry about having to look perfect all of the time.
On to tricks, I call these tricks because not many women know that they are confidence boosters. When you try them out you will find that you are automatically the hottest chick in the room.
Now for some lessons in faking confidence! This is a little more difficult because you not only have to be fast but you have to be able to pick up on other peoples body language.
Lets say you are at a bar with a few friends and you see a gentlemen you'd like to talk to. Don't be afraid to approach him after some silent flirting, but chances are you won't have to move at all. Two key things to remember are:
Eye contact- This is a faking trick because who can really pull off eye contact without seeming creepy? The average flirty eye contact should last for about 3 to 5 seconds. As weird as it sounds you should tilt your head down slightly and say "Come here" with your eyes and facial expression.
Body Language- The trick is to position your body in an "open" stance. If you cross your arms over your chest you are giving the impression that you are "closed" and unavailable. Try to imagine that you are giving him the "OK" to get close to you, not necessarily touch you but just a welcoming "hello".
This is when you do your size up. What is he wearing? Work clothes, casual wear, maybe dressed up, this is when you take his exterior into account. If he is dressed in casual wear take a few mental notes on what he's got on. Sports teams, college logos, even accessories like watches or other jewelry can give you something to talk about. If he's wearing a Chargers jersey it wouldn't hurt to maybe Google the players name really quick and maybe pick up a few stats. Sounding like you some what know what you are talking about is part of being confident!
This is just some advice that is going to be coming. Enjoy and remember confidence is key.
The Bedside Blogger
Entry #3- The Start Of Advice No One Really Asked For
Ok, so today I'd like to talk about some thing that is in everyone's lives, whether you're married, long term, dating, casual, or single. Love.Love is actually a chemical reaction made in your body and your brain with a mix of Dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin (more commonly found during the attraction phase of a relationship), Oxytocin, and vasopressin (more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments).
That's the chemical make up, physically your body goes through changes along the relationship cycle as well. Racing hearts, sweaty hands, winged insects in our bowels... It's just what we crave. There is actually a study that says we are addicted to the chemicals our own bodies produce when we are infatuated with someone.
Which, considering the chemicals that make up love it makes perfect sense. Who wouldn't want their brain flooded with serotonin and epinephrine? I know I certainly do!
As a single 22 year old, attractive female of course I want to have someone consistent in my life to cuddle with and have inside jokes, aside from my roommate. But I have found that the dating world has changed a lot in this new era of online dating and reality TV. No longer can you just meet someone in a random place and they not be a crazy person.
And with that brings me to my next point. Dudes. What is with guys these days? They have become more complicated than most women I know! If you want someone then say it! If you don't, then leave! Find someone you actually do want to be with and stop turning good girls into crazy bitches!
I know that it's not all guys fault, girls are malicious and devilish as well. We use and abuse good guys till we find someone to emotionally torture us. Ladies, you can't say I'm wrong either. We all remember that one guy we let run us over with a 69' mustang as many times as they could before we got up and walked away with our mangled hearts in hand. Somehow it's easier to leave a nice guy who cares about you than it is to leave the asshole who can't even remember your middle name.
So, I propose that we all stop bullshitting ourselves and realize that all these chemicals floating around are just for reproductive purposes and stop messing with the other genders heads!
Guys, stop being so damn indecisive! Either be a normal douche bag and own it or be a good guy and treat a women right.
Ladies, stop acting crazy!! If a dude dumps you DO NOT call, text, email, stalk or harass him! You're giving us normal chicks a bad rap.
Rant over :)
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Entry #2 Tattoos- A Lifestyle
Entry #2 Tattoos
First off let me say that not everyone will agree with my opinions or views on everything... deal with it. My blog, my rules.
Second, tattoos and body mods are everywhere and now are more accepted in society, so no one should be too offended by my entries.
Now then, I am a tattoo whore!! I have some of my own and mostly everyone I've ever found remotely attractive has ink and muscles... but that's another entry completely. Tattoos are art and usually have great meaning to the person so is not only getting one but the person who is giving it. Good tattoo artist find new tattoo ideas to be a challenge and to be exciting. Even the best tattoo artist in the country learn new skills and techniques all the time.
I'd like to give a little history and science behind tattoos and the tattooing process real quick just for some depth and understanding.
Tattoos have been around since the beginning of human civilization. The earliest dating back to the neolithic era, new stone age, these tattoos are thought to be symbols of healing or healers of the body. Most ancient cultures have distinguishing markings for persons in society. Such as, pharaohs, healers, and prisoners. Many modern religions still use tattoos for symbolization of their deities powers or cultural significance.
The modern tattooing process starts with a one or group needle guns penetrating the top first few layers of skin with carbon based pigments.
Fresh tattoos usually take about a week and a half to heal and if done right add to a persons body aesthetics.
Many people get tattoos to mark a milestone in their lives or to commemorate an event such as a birth or death in ones family.
Although, there are those who get tattoos for no purpose, not a fan of these people. Tattoos should express ones inner most definition of their personality, not just to look like a bad ass. But to each their own, right?
I am currently trying to find a local Indy tattoo artist to join my network of blog interviews. Hopefully, I will have some good pictures and inside looks into the world of tattoo artists.
I will leave you with my newest contribution to my body canvas, and certainly not my last!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Entry #1
Oh boy another silly blogger!!
Anyway, I've decided to start this blog so that I can see my own transformation from beginning to end. I am in the first stages of becoming a photojournalist. Which really just means I am contemplation where to attend school, how I'm going to pay for said schooling, and where I want to end up in three to five years.
So, I'm Kate and let me tell you a little about me. I'm a writing enthusiast, a photography amateur, and a nursing assistant by job title. I live in Indianapolis with my roommate who've I've known since we were seventeen. Our adventures are usually alcohol and silly boy inspired with our small group of diverse friends that we've accumulated through working at a hardware store, that my roommate still works for.
I am currently single, which suits my lifestyle fairly well. Considering I don't have much free time from working about 50 hrs a week and trying to get my life in order.
I want to travel and see the world through a camera lens, create vivid stories about the horrors and beauties in the world.
What will you seeing on my blog? I really have no clue!
Aside from pictures of the irony in my life, rants about current events, mostly sarcasm and blatantly obvious frustrations about the opposite sex, I am a girl after all. But mostly there will be photos and articles that reflect my progression in photojournalism.
So, welcome!!
Oh boy another silly blogger!!
Anyway, I've decided to start this blog so that I can see my own transformation from beginning to end. I am in the first stages of becoming a photojournalist. Which really just means I am contemplation where to attend school, how I'm going to pay for said schooling, and where I want to end up in three to five years.
So, I'm Kate and let me tell you a little about me. I'm a writing enthusiast, a photography amateur, and a nursing assistant by job title. I live in Indianapolis with my roommate who've I've known since we were seventeen. Our adventures are usually alcohol and silly boy inspired with our small group of diverse friends that we've accumulated through working at a hardware store, that my roommate still works for.
I am currently single, which suits my lifestyle fairly well. Considering I don't have much free time from working about 50 hrs a week and trying to get my life in order.
I want to travel and see the world through a camera lens, create vivid stories about the horrors and beauties in the world.
What will you seeing on my blog? I really have no clue!
Aside from pictures of the irony in my life, rants about current events, mostly sarcasm and blatantly obvious frustrations about the opposite sex, I am a girl after all. But mostly there will be photos and articles that reflect my progression in photojournalism.
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